“We’ll take a short break now and give you a chance to spread your legs.”
Thus an Account Manager ensured one particular new business presentation would haunt her for many years to come.
The last decade has seen the advertising business change in almost every way, but some things remain evergreen – and the live pitch is one of them. It is the opportunity to flash your creative colours, reveal your bedazzling personality and stun with your finely honed strategy. But here also lies the possibility of shame, embarrassment and humiliation.
The last decade has seen the advertising business change in almost every way, but some things remain evergreen – and the live pitch is one of them. It is the opportunity to flash your creative colours, reveal your bedazzling personality and stun with your finely honed strategy. But here also lies the possibility of shame, embarrassment and humiliation.
It’s business as sport and losing is all too easy.
What follows is a collection of pitch anecdotes I carry with me to enliven dull dinner parties and scare the living daylights out of interns. All these things happened and I was either present or close enough to the event to vouch for their veracity.
What follows is a collection of pitch anecdotes I carry with me to enliven dull dinner parties and scare the living daylights out of interns. All these things happened and I was either present or close enough to the event to vouch for their veracity.
This was a solo effort for the new business guy. The prospect was hot and all he had to do was pull off a confident, professional pitch and the account was his.
If experience had taught him anything it was to arrive early and prepare. Fortune was smiling on him that day and he was shown through to the presentation room to wait. Having set up the laptop and projector at record speed, he found himself with a good ten minutes in hand. So, he thought he’d run the cabling through the gap between the polystyrene tiles and the ceiling to prevent tripping.
This neatly filled the spare time and the prospective clients filed in and took their seats. Our man welcomed them, cleared his throat and in one deft movement pulled the laptop towards him. This was sufficient to bring most of the tiles crashing down on the assembled audience and give them a light covering of white dust.
Passing out ceremony
Pitching for a project for a chain of steak restaurants, the Creative Director showed his final piece of work with satisfaction. The client seemed to like the ideas and he was pretty confident the business was in the bag.
Next up was the portly Account Manager with the media strategy. Positioning himself between his colleagues and the client, he stepped forward and started to run through his plan. Within seconds he was white as flour and his shirt was soaked in cold, clinging sweat. Seconds after that, his words trailed off to a feeble moan and he dropped to the floor like a bag of shopping.
Folks, even if you can’t face breakfast on the morning of a pitch, a couple of squares of Dairy Milk before you get started keeps that blood sugar up and may just prevent you from fainting halfway through.
The Devil’s in the detail
The Account Manager was convinced the key to the client’s heart was a superb piece of marketing software he had just introduced to the agency’s offering. The Account Director was less than convinced, but gave him the benefit of the doubt, allocating him a ten minute slot to pitch the software’s benefits.
The appointed moment arrived and our AM took to his feet to explain in intricate detail the splendours of this new kit. So much detail, in fact, that 15 minutes later he was still talking. Ten minutes on and he still hadn’t finished. A volley of coughs from the pitch team was enough to push him to his conclusion:
“Any questions?”
“Yes,” said the client
“What is the name of the software, please?”
“Er … I don’t really know” replied our hero
“Can I email it to you?”
Hammer Time
If experience had taught him anything it was to arrive early and prepare. Fortune was smiling on him that day and he was shown through to the presentation room to wait. Having set up the laptop and projector at record speed, he found himself with a good ten minutes in hand. So, he thought he’d run the cabling through the gap between the polystyrene tiles and the ceiling to prevent tripping.
This neatly filled the spare time and the prospective clients filed in and took their seats. Our man welcomed them, cleared his throat and in one deft movement pulled the laptop towards him. This was sufficient to bring most of the tiles crashing down on the assembled audience and give them a light covering of white dust.
Passing out ceremony
Pitching for a project for a chain of steak restaurants, the Creative Director showed his final piece of work with satisfaction. The client seemed to like the ideas and he was pretty confident the business was in the bag.
Next up was the portly Account Manager with the media strategy. Positioning himself between his colleagues and the client, he stepped forward and started to run through his plan. Within seconds he was white as flour and his shirt was soaked in cold, clinging sweat. Seconds after that, his words trailed off to a feeble moan and he dropped to the floor like a bag of shopping.
Folks, even if you can’t face breakfast on the morning of a pitch, a couple of squares of Dairy Milk before you get started keeps that blood sugar up and may just prevent you from fainting halfway through.
The Devil’s in the detail
The Account Manager was convinced the key to the client’s heart was a superb piece of marketing software he had just introduced to the agency’s offering. The Account Director was less than convinced, but gave him the benefit of the doubt, allocating him a ten minute slot to pitch the software’s benefits.
The appointed moment arrived and our AM took to his feet to explain in intricate detail the splendours of this new kit. So much detail, in fact, that 15 minutes later he was still talking. Ten minutes on and he still hadn’t finished. A volley of coughs from the pitch team was enough to push him to his conclusion:
“Any questions?”
“Yes,” said the client
“What is the name of the software, please?”
“Er … I don’t really know” replied our hero
“Can I email it to you?”
Hammer Time
The pitch brief made it absolutely clear that the winning agency would be the team who most accurately understood the business and had the ability to deliver the message with laser-guided precision. The Creative Director translated this as ‘hitting the nail on the head’. Fair enough, but the seeds of his doom were sown there and then.
The pitch opened with the creative strategy and the CD stood all smiles and glinting eyes. Boy, he was going to make an impression. And so he did, because his opening gambit was to produce a hammer and four inch nail. As he spoke he drove the nail home. Straight through the enormously expensive, antique boardroom table in front of him.
With their creative leader promptly ejected from the building, it seemed somewhat pointless for the agency to continue with the pitch and a very quiet drive back to the office soon followed.
There are, of course, hundreds of these tales of woe from the frenzied theatre of the pitch. But it’s worth noting some of these fraught presentations still won the business and the stories are brightening flagging dinner parties to this day.
The pitch opened with the creative strategy and the CD stood all smiles and glinting eyes. Boy, he was going to make an impression. And so he did, because his opening gambit was to produce a hammer and four inch nail. As he spoke he drove the nail home. Straight through the enormously expensive, antique boardroom table in front of him.
With their creative leader promptly ejected from the building, it seemed somewhat pointless for the agency to continue with the pitch and a very quiet drive back to the office soon followed.
There are, of course, hundreds of these tales of woe from the frenzied theatre of the pitch. But it’s worth noting some of these fraught presentations still won the business and the stories are brightening flagging dinner parties to this day.
