Billy don't be a hero

Anyone who listens to The Clash’s ‘London Calling’ with obsessive frequency (and I would be one), will know the track ‘Wrong ‘Em Boyo’. Nestled between ‘The Guns of Brixton’ and ‘Death Or Glory’ it’s a cover of an old Rulers song. But before the bouncing ska patterns get underway, there’s an abandoned take of another song: ‘The Ballad of Stagger Lee’ – one of the most prevalent and recorded pieces in music history.

Is Facebook losing its sheen?

When discussing Facebook, different rules apply. In Facebook’s world, audiences, members, revenues and profits are measured on a macro-scale that dwarfs the figures bandied around in banking circles. A few statistics:

- Users upload more than 250 million photos to the site each day
- The site stores upwards of 100 petabytes of data – double all the written works of humankind
- In 2011 the company made $1 billion dollars profit from a revenue of $3.7 billion
- Mark Zuckerberg’s 28 percent share in the company makes him worth more than $29 billion

So really, in the middle of a global recession, this social network exists in a different universe from humble mortals. And yet, when a company towers at such a breathtaking height, any wobble in its foundations is cause for serious concern – and there are undeniable and significant wobbles.

Write ore rung

Browsing through my emails this morning, discarding increasingly bizarre spam along the way, I was struck by a common element. Of the dozen or so genuine messages, over half contained basic spelling mistakes. I wasn’t particularly surprised, it’s not an unusual phenomenon, but I was irritated. Then I paused and wondered whether it really mattered. After all, I understood the emails and was able to act on them.

Well, actually, it does matter and here’s why: gsffterterf ndbhhdgtfclksrtt bdbgd bgd bdfdtsrtyu.

Sharpe practice

Anyone who has spent any time working in advertising or PR will have met many Siobhans on many occasions. In meetings, pitches and bars, Siobhans pop up all over the place.

Not unfriendly and rarely nasty, this industry stereotype is more guilty of toe-curling, vacuous nonsense than anything really harmful and yet her or his (there are plenty of male Siobhans) characteristics do have the tendency to give the business a bad name. Clients can and do complain of being blinded with marketing 'science' and leaving strategy sessions more confused than enlightened. The jargon and mystery of social media and the internet have only added to the prevalence of gobbledegook and fluff. What's more, the Siobhans among us give those who mock and decry the creative industries an open goal for their satire and derision.

Trouble downstairs

Last year I wrote a column on a brilliant campaign for Mooncup - an alternative female sanitary device. The brand's wit and frankness were refreshing and the correspondence I received suggested the gadget has many fans. And now a story emerges along similar lines, but with a more problematic outcome.

As before, I must point out I am male and therefore not a real expert on female hygiene products. However, as a time-served copywriter, I know a bit about words and there's no doubt words are at the heart of this sorry tale.

Lydon calling

This week Dan Renton Skinner launches his first solo show on Channel Four. However, we never actually see 'Dan' because his public profile is the fictitious character Angelos Epithemiou, a lisping, unhinged burger van owner. In this, Skinner is following a long tradition which includes Dame Edna Everage, Keith Lemon and John Lydon.

Of course, John Lydon isn't a comic creation - at least not intentionally - but like Edna, Keith and Angelos, we don't often see the real man.