1. Someone who thinks they’re important will say Twitter is dead. They will tweet a link to their reasoning.
2. Jonathan Ross will wake at night wondering why the whole ITV thing never works for him.
3. Compare The Market will make more money from soft toys than insurance.
4. Lorshuggar will be shown an iPhone. He will think it’s a calculator.
5. HMV RIP
6. HM Government will blame cigarettes and the Euro for the fact no-one has a job.
7. The BBC will accidentally broadcast Brass Eye instead of Newsnight. No will notice.
8. Iran invasion undertaken to cheer everyone up.
9. Nation will attempt to recall what a Little Mix was.
10. A correctly deployed apostrophe will be found by archeologists.
11. Train fares will rise by a percentage determined by Eric Pickles waist measurement.
12. Boris Johnson will cease cutting his own hair in the dark. His popularity will plummet.
13. Channel 5 gameshow ‘Burn The Witch’ will be deemed ‘a little tasteless.
14. Evil dictator will go to war with own people. Big boost for British arms industry.
15. Teenagers will be told to ‘finish that last bit of Coca Cola and throw the bottle away’.
16. Phrase ‘Kindle Porn’ will make first appearance.
17. Man watching 3D movie will realise he is merely looking out of the window.
18. 3D RIP
19. Olly Murs will come out. As rubbish.
20. DWP’s ‘Work For Nothing Or Lose A Limb’ scheme will be piloted in Scotland.
2. Jonathan Ross will wake at night wondering why the whole ITV thing never works for him.
3. Compare The Market will make more money from soft toys than insurance.
4. Lorshuggar will be shown an iPhone. He will think it’s a calculator.
5. HMV RIP
6. HM Government will blame cigarettes and the Euro for the fact no-one has a job.
7. The BBC will accidentally broadcast Brass Eye instead of Newsnight. No will notice.
8. Iran invasion undertaken to cheer everyone up.
9. Nation will attempt to recall what a Little Mix was.
10. A correctly deployed apostrophe will be found by archeologists.
11. Train fares will rise by a percentage determined by Eric Pickles waist measurement.
12. Boris Johnson will cease cutting his own hair in the dark. His popularity will plummet.
13. Channel 5 gameshow ‘Burn The Witch’ will be deemed ‘a little tasteless.
14. Evil dictator will go to war with own people. Big boost for British arms industry.
15. Teenagers will be told to ‘finish that last bit of Coca Cola and throw the bottle away’.
16. Phrase ‘Kindle Porn’ will make first appearance.
17. Man watching 3D movie will realise he is merely looking out of the window.
18. 3D RIP
19. Olly Murs will come out. As rubbish.
20. DWP’s ‘Work For Nothing Or Lose A Limb’ scheme will be piloted in Scotland.
